7 ways The Oatmeal can KILL YOU

In case you haven't heard, theoatmeal.com is the funniest and most ingenious thing. Ever. Naturally, I'm now looking for a way to be like/wishing I had invented The Oatmeal. So out of pure spite and jealousy, I present to you...

7 ways The Oatmeal can KILL YOU:

1. Bobcats will be sent to pillage your food supply.
   
   
2. As the website grows in popularity, we all start looking like this:



3. The Oatmeal will mock you in that certain kind of way where everyone except you knows you're being mocked, and when you finally realize how big of an idiot you are you kill yourself. (e.g., people who don't know they're being made fun of for these kind of emails.)
   

You're welcome.

Jesse